The Price of Love

I am fed up with all this “aphrodisiac” nonsense.

Those little hearts known to warm hearts, actually taste like chalk

It’s that time of year when all good marketers leverage Valentines day in order to make a quick buck, by pushing crap upon us with claims of how  it will show how romantic your are…or at least increase your odds of getting lucky.

First of all, there is some giant consperiacy…All the “good” aphrodisiacs are freaking expensive. Of course the ultimate aphrodisiac is actually non-edible, the diamond, guaranteed to make any lady feel a little more loving. But foods like oysters and uni are crazy expensive….and are kind of nasty if you really think about it. Oysters are just some mushy, raw protein that taste like salt, and uni is pretty much the sexual organs of a sea urchin. Both of these “aphrodisiacs” tend to be some of the more costly things on a menu. But the humble asparagus, a claimed aphrodisiac, has got to be one of the most expensive vegetables on the menu. I am serious, the restaurants are all working against us to buy their most expensive foods by luring us with promises of love….damn they are cruel.


Balut egg: Sexy ain't it?

But if we think we are getting screwed by overpaying restaurants to serve us expensive aphrodisiacs here in the USA, we are no where near as unfortunate as many other cultures who pay a premium for Balut (fertilized duck eggs) in the Philippines, or coffee made from beans that have already been digested and pooped out by a cat like creature in Vietnam, or even the duran fruit, which is said to smell utterly putrid and is  often banned from being brought on planes.

But one of the most popular “love foods” is the relatively economical chocolate. As Mrs. Fed Up has made clear, chocolate is deciving because its high cost is in its caloric content.

cheap chocolate is still costly (and really can be cheesy)

Of course you can choose to avoide any particular aphrodisiac food, but you still end up having to pay the ridiculously high toll for a quality Valentines date night to. An overpriced meal with a snooty waiter is almost a requirment in this day and age, unless you are married and no longer have to put any effort into charming your significant other. Mrs. Fed Up has not been taken out to a fancy dinner on Valentines since we were dating…now its just cheap stirfry….one of the bonuses of marriage. But most have to pay the Valentines day tax and  go all out. It pisses me off, but its a simple fact that the quality of the after-dinner activities is directly proportional to the quality and dollar amount spent on the V-Day meal.

Cheetos: Guaranteed to get you in the mood...

But if you are stingy like Mr. Fed Up, and tired of dealing with all the marketing BS thrown in our face of what resturant to choose and what pricy foods to eat, there is one other option that looks pretty damn promising. I just noticed this today, but Valentines Cheetos seem to have a whole lot of potential for setting you up for a fun night.


Tags: , , , , , , ,

Categories: Rants

Author:Mr. Fed Up

A guy looking for good grub. and YES....I have a website...and I am not going to bore you with one of those personal journal type of blogs. I promise. Check it out;


Subscribe to our RSS feed and social profiles to receive updates.

No comments yet.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: