Be a Cheese Snob, or at least sound like one

 

As they say (or at least as seen on a t-shirt): “Cheese, milk made awesome.”

Cheese, Glorious Cheese. I have already ranted about how cheese, even the crappy kind that is vacuum sealed and whose expatriation dates are several decades away, is simply all powerful. But quality cheese can really be a game changer. For years I ignored the cheese counter and headed straight for the Kraft. But now the best part of a grocery run is the time staring at the cooler with all those amazingly stinky morsels from around the world.

Direct from Italy, the REAL Parmesan (not the crap sold in green plastic jars). Damn Expensive. Damn Tasty

A truly gourmet cheese can turn a simple collection of humble ingredients, in to a dining experience that rivals what you would gets at any overpriced restaurant where the waiter to guest ratio is 1:1. Take something like a 10 year old artisinal cheddar, and add it your basic mac and cheese combo. Suddenly you have created something gourmet; you can now showoff your creation to your friends and look like a true chef.

YES you will feel like a snooty, blue-blood, aristocrat when you step up to the cheese counter at a Whole Foods and request a 2 year cave aged Gruyere, or a nice wedge of French ash covered goat cheese that costs $25.00 a pound. And its hard not to feel like a complete ass when you refuse to buy the Parmigiano-Reggiano because it did not come directly from a cellar in Italy and is only a domestic copy. But its worth it.

An expensive aged cheddar from Vermont that was real pricey and really nothing special

Now it is important to take advantage of the free samples offered in many cheese secions. And NEVER be afraid to ask for a taste of something that looks good. You need to know which overpriced morsels are worth half your paycheck. Judging by price, is rarealy accurate, as often times a cheaper cheese can taste better. I was exteremly fed up after buying a some ridiculously expensive “cloth-bound” cheddar that tasted surprisingly bland (like Kraft bland); especially after the next day I returned home from a successful shopping trip with a chuck of cheddar that cost half the price and tasted twice as good.

The plastic wrapper...All that's left of the cheap cheddar. Half the price as the other aged cheddars, but twice as good. BUY THIS CHEESE.

And even if you don’t really know crap about cheese, but want to feel like a true cheese snob and get the quality service from the local mongers (who only really respect such snobs) its easy:

1. Ask for a cheese from an obscure region…it does not matter if Kazakhstan or Cambodia are not famous for their cheeses, but it will impress the monger and make them feel like you know your curds. As a bonus, the monger may even feel foolish and question their own knowledge base.

2. Smell something, anything, and shake your head in dissapointems as you say its not “barnyardy” enough, or there are not enough “floral notes.”

3. Wear a chef’s coat from a local five star resturant.

4.Use terms like “cave-aged,” “pecorino,” and “washed rind.”…even if you have no idea what they are referring to you will suddenly look cheese-savy and get some street cred.

Take the time to walk up to the wall of fancy cheese and become a snob...it ok...and it will make your food better

Get some fancy cheese…wheather it is blue, goat, Swiss, or stinky it does not matter. Sometimes you have to be a snob and not settle for anything less. If you stay fed up, you will stay fed well.

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Categories: Recommendations

Author:Mr. Fed Up

A guy looking for good grub. and YES....I have a website...and I am not going to bore you with one of those personal journal type of blogs. I promise. Check it out; www.FedUpFood.com

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16 Comments on “Be a Cheese Snob, or at least sound like one”

  1. April 3, 2012 at 9:56 am #

    Great post!

    • April 3, 2012 at 10:03 am #

      Thanks for reading. and seriously…be a cheese snob..it is worth it.

      • April 3, 2012 at 10:05 am #

        I absolutely love cheese so this post was awesome to improve my cheese snobbery! Cave aged is now added to my cheese lingo.

      • April 3, 2012 at 10:09 am #

        awesome!

  2. April 3, 2012 at 10:53 am #

    NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM NOM I’m eating all the cheese now and I’m loving it. You are a great cheese fanatic/snob/lover of cheese person. Amazing cheese and great blog!!!! 🙂

  3. April 4, 2012 at 1:45 pm #

    Cheese is one of the things I would love to be “snobbified” in someday, along with wine, fine design, and beer. This post made me laugh. Keep it up!

    • April 4, 2012 at 3:18 pm #

      Thanks for reading. I am sure one day you will reach your desired levels of snobness.

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