Where Are All The Sporks?

When I was growing up, one of the only reasons I always went to KFC was for the spork…

My trusty spork. This baby has seen me through some crazy times. I splurged on this one, it is actually made from titanium...but there are some things in life so important that it is worth spending a little extra on.

It is perfect in design. Some of the most significant  advances in science and technology have come together to merge spoon and fork into the wonder that is: “spork”…ok, this might be a slight exaggeration. But it is simply the most beautifully designed piece of engineering that is capable of shoveling both solid and liquid food to your face efficiently. You don’t need to wast precious moments having to switch the tools you use to consume. You can continue to eat mindlessly without having to concentrate on which device to apply to the particular items on your plate.

Why do we need to have a spoon and fork at each setting when the one spork can replace the two? Why do we need to clutter up our table, and confuse our hands with an unnecessary abundance of utensils.

Plus, we can save the world if we all accepted the spork as the next step of eating-evolution. If every take out and fast food joint followed KFC’s revolutionary example by providing a single spork instead of fork AND spoon, think how much less wast there would be from all the plastic silverware in landfills (exactly half as much). We could probably reverse the whole pollution thing if everyone just switched to a damn spork.

I spent two weeks trekking through isolated Papua in Indonesia with just my trusty spork as my dining accomplice. It handled all situations perfectly. From rice to soup, my spork accomplished its job better than I could have asked. Because there were really no tables on this trip, often times only one hand was available to dig into food, as the other hand was busy having to hold the plate. So imagine how insane it would have been to have to rotate between spoon and fork with only one hand.

When I got home and I was forced to resort back to the fork/spoon combo common at most every dining establishment, I was deeply saddened. I missed my spork. I hate the idea of going backwards in ingenuity. I cannot belive that I was having to move from the advanced and sophisticated design of the spork, back to the brutish fork and spoon option that the rest of the world is content using. It was as if I was forced to go from my sleek, shiny ipod back to the bulky and clumsy CD player. Society has created a simple, clean, more practical and advanced tool…so why the Hell are we all still relying on the primitive tools of our ancestors?

I look forward to the day when this is the typical place-setting. I really think the spork will be up there with fine china and crystal glasses as just another classy addition to everyone's wedding gift registries.

Seriously I am looking forward to the day when our society as a whole evolves and fully embraces the perfection that is a spork. How awesome would it be to go to some snooty 5 star restaurant and only have a spork and knife at the table. Hell, I would have loved some fancy, sliver plated sporks when we got all that fine china and silverware for our wedding.

So be a modern citizen of the world, and accept the future that is the spork. Stop living in a cave and put down the fork, put down the spoon, and raise the perfection that is the spork…and while you are at it, be a good friend and get some silver-plated sporks as the next gift you give a newly married couple. They will appreciate your progressive way of thinking and forever thank you for your life-changing present.

…ok, done ranting.


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Categories: Rants, Recommendations

Author:Mr. Fed Up

A guy looking for good grub. and YES....I have a website...and I am not going to bore you with one of those personal journal type of blogs. I promise. Check it out; www.FedUpFood.com


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16 Comments on “Where Are All The Sporks?”

  1. Ben
    April 3, 2012 at 2:35 am #

    I have “friends” that advocate the serrated edge spork as the end all be all because it’s a knife too. I ask them, If you only have one utensil, how do you steady the meat. Them: silence.

  2. Michaela Chatman
    April 3, 2012 at 6:08 am #

    I love the spork! Thanks for putting a smile on a my face and allowing me to remember the real reason why we went to KFC!

  3. April 3, 2012 at 8:17 am #

    Oh, wait. Are you really using KFC as a culinary example to follow? I love the provocative and bold step, however, I also shudder.

    • April 3, 2012 at 8:31 am #

      Haha. I agree, it is a scary thing to use any fast food joint as an example of anything (unless it is marketing, or low-cost production). KFC may not have the tastiest grub (I actually haven’t eaten there in years), but I do applaud their efforts for helping to spread spork usage. Hopefully we will see restaurants from popular chefs like Bobby Flay, Rick Bayless, and Wolfgang follow KFC’s example and bring sporks to the white-table-cloth, $50/plate dining world. Thanks for reading!

  4. April 3, 2012 at 10:04 am #

    Sporks have been around since the 1800’s. I’ve seen antique sporks in some of those historical sites that recreate old farms and forts and towns. I looked it up and patents for spork-like implements go back as far as 1874. But they were being made and used prior to then.

    • April 3, 2012 at 10:08 am #

      wow. So sporks have some serious history. It is a shame that it has taken them this long just to get to where they are now.

  5. April 3, 2012 at 12:30 pm #

    When I was registering for gifts for my wedding I searched for a silverware set that had a spork. I could not find one out there and so I did not register for silverware at all. I have great love for the spork myself and I appreciate your ode to it. Taco bell used to have a spork as well…. I believe that is where I first fell in love with it as a child.

    • April 3, 2012 at 12:37 pm #

      Haha, I am impressed with your dedication to the spork. Mrs. Fed Up would not have let me get away not registering for silverware, no matter how badly I insisted we only get a set that includes a spork. So we ended up just getting some typical sliver forks and junk…If we all work together, then one day sporks will get the attention they deserve.

  6. April 3, 2012 at 3:40 pm #

    I haven’t seen a spork before – that’s is in Europe. Perhaps I just lead a sheltered life but either way I’m missing out! I can’t help but think that it should have a serrated edge on one end, only 50% of the length of the handle. *POW* the SPRIFE has been invented. Three utensils in one. Chuck Norris is ordering as we speak……

    • April 3, 2012 at 3:52 pm #

      haha. Please go and create the SPRIFE! I want silver-plated one to go with some fine china and fancy crystal wine glasses.

  7. Nichol Caddingham
    April 6, 2012 at 11:01 am #

    Reblogged this on Modern Gentleman and commented:
    great question from my new favorite blog.


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