Empty Boxes, Empty Hearts

One of the best moments of my childhood is rushing downstairs early in the morning to beat my brother to be the first one to open a brand new box of cereal. The general rule was whoever opens the box first, not only gets that beautiful whiff of cereal as it leaves the packaging for the first time, but also gets the toy stashed inside.

Now, look around at the deeply depressing sights found on cereal shelves today. The popularity of the free prizes has dried up, leaving empty shells of lifeless boxes with nothing by plain cereal inside.

Ok. Some cereals are so amazing they need no additional selling points to make us purchase a box (or four). We all have those cereals that we truly love and probably need to go to therapy to help control our addiction for.

It's hard to tell what is breakfast and what is desert sometimes. But seriously, is this really part of a nutrient rich breakfast? Maybe, maybe not...but the added sugar is NO substitute for a free prize.

But…Damnit, I STILL want my free prize!

It seems like “Big-Cereal” realized that it is far cheaper for them to lure us in by adding more sugar, than for them to be adding prizes to every box. Stare at half the cereals being sold in grocery stores. It is difficult to tell the difference between a nutritious breakfast option and a pure decadent dessert. Half the time I can’t figure out if I am looking at a box of cereal to energize me through the day or just a misplaced box of candy. Cookies, chocolate, marshmallows all have replaced the toys inside our beloved breakfast boxes…NOT COOL!

Many cereals seem somehow soulless without their little gems buried deep down inside. It does not matter if I am married, have a mortgage, a dog, a full-time job; I am still a kid a heart, and I love getting some dumb surprise with my breakfast.

I cherish my light-up Star Wars light-saber spoon I got from a cereal box years ago. NOW, that was a prize. Not only was it simply the essence of awesomeness by being Star-Wars-branded, but it was also functional, serving as a trusty breakfast utensil for many bowls of cereal. Some mornings, when Mrs. Fed Up is still sleeping, I turn on the cartoons, grab a bowl of beautiful cereal and bust out my trusty light saber spoon to help me defeat the “dark side” of my hunger…I really am just a big kid.

They don't make cereal prizes like this anymore: My Star Wars light-up light-saber spoon

So I understand that many of us “grown-ups” could care less about some cheap-plastic toy…BUT think about the deprived children who go thorough their entire life lacking the pure joy that can be found discovering a cheap trinket buried in your breakfast bowl after you serve yourself a nice portion.

WHY can’t there be “adult” prizes found in the more stereotypical fiber-filled, “grown-up” cereals. AND NO, by “Adult” I am not expecting some Penthouse fully poseable action figure; I mean something like a pair of reading glasses to read those tiny nutritional labels, or a plastic pill organizer to hold our daily vitamines and meds…Ok, maybe those are a little too boring, but still I would appreciate a badass L.E.D flashlight or even a Kellogg’s branded pen would be cool. Better than just getting cereal from a cereal box…right?

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Categories: Rants

Author:Mr. Fed Up

A guy looking for good grub. and YES....I have a website...and I am not going to bore you with one of those personal journal type of blogs. I promise. Check it out; www.FedUpFood.com

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21 Comments on “Empty Boxes, Empty Hearts”

  1. April 7, 2012 at 9:07 am #

    A light up light saber spoon – what a brilliant prize. I’d forgotten all about toys in cereal packets until I read this – good stuff 🙂

    • April 7, 2012 at 10:41 am #

      I know…its weird how getting a cool toy was half the reason I would buy a certain cereal. Now it seems like no cereals come with anything…and if they do, they are no where as cool as a lightsaber spoon.

  2. April 8, 2012 at 7:38 am #

    I am all for adult prizes in cereal boxes!

    • April 8, 2012 at 9:03 am #

      How cool would it be to open up a box of Fiber One and get kitchen timer, or a Fiber One spoon, or pair of Fiber One branded socks!

      • April 8, 2012 at 11:33 am #

        Or better yet, a basic, yet functional plastic running watch with a Fiber One logo!

      • April 8, 2012 at 12:26 pm #

        YES, a FIBER ONE RUNNING WATCH. That would be awesome…and serve as a good reminder to NOT go running after a hugh bowl of the fiber-filled cereal! ha

        Mrs. Fed Up would love a Fiber One watch, that is one of her favorite cereals. I am just hoping Cornflakes (or Honey Bunches of Oats), comes out with a “member’s only jacket” or some other random merchandise so I can “represent.”

  3. April 8, 2012 at 12:31 pm #

    Yay, members only jacket!

  4. April 9, 2012 at 4:41 pm #

    This post reminds me of the Calvin and Hobbes bit where Calvin has to eat three boxes of Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs so that he can get his beanie….that doesn’t even let him fly around.
    I remember getting a color-changing spoon in a box of something. It’s long gone now. Anyway, your post. I agree with it. Bring back the prizes!

    • April 9, 2012 at 8:46 pm #

      I remember I used to get boxes and boxes of the same cereal to get the ENTIRE collection of whatever they were promoting. I remember going through WAY too much cereal to get each of some collectible Star Wars figurines.

  5. April 12, 2012 at 10:37 am #

    I was just happy growing up to not have to eat the crumbs at the bottom of the box – ha!

    • April 12, 2012 at 2:06 pm #

      Ha, but those crumbs have some pretty amazing uses: Top ice cream with them (right now I love vanilla ice cream with crushed cornflakes, honey and cinnamon), or mix into other foods (pancakes, cookies, muffins).

      I guess you could always try and snort them to get a cereal high, but I would not recommend that.

  6. It's a Wiccan Life
    April 22, 2012 at 9:21 pm #

    I have a friend who’s crazy about Star Wars! and hey if it helps a few weeks ago at work I was emptying a ceral box to squash to put it in the trash and it had a rice-krispy bar in it. It was the “prize”. 🙂 lol

    • April 22, 2012 at 9:27 pm #

      Haha. now if it was a “star wars” branded rice-kirspy bar, then that would be one AWESOME prize….but in today’s world where so many cereals are “heartless,” any prize is pretty cool.

  7. sean
    November 28, 2012 at 7:36 pm #

    I went through 12 boxes of cereal. 5 red spoons, 4 blue spoons and 3 orange spoons. Never got a single green spoon. After a while there, i’m comparing this to the McDonalds railroad monopoly thing. Anyone want to sell me a damn yoda spoon unopened please email me.

    • November 29, 2012 at 11:26 am #

      HAHA…It is a scam to keep us buying stuff in search of the elusive ‘golden-ticket’…or green Yoda Spoon!

  8. sean
    November 28, 2012 at 7:37 pm #

    @ daigakuasano47@yahoo.com

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