Seriously Sad Cereal

I have been eyeballing this stupid box of cereal EACH week when I wander down the grocery store aisle.

A crappy box of Cookie Crisp. The box proudly boasts how it is made with “Whole Grain.” That does not make up for the stale taste and lack of any sort of nutritional value. Plus, pretty much EVERY cereal has “whole grain,” INCLUDING the most decadent of sugary cereals: Lucky Charms and Cinnamon Toast Crunch.

It has no nutritional value, and quite frankly it is a very childish product. But the concept of this cereal just kept gnawing at the back of my mind…it just seemed to have so much potential.

Well, I finally decided to buy a box.

I can now say from personal experience; Cookie Crisp cereal is terrible.

The idea of a cookie based cereal sounds genius. We all know milk and cookies are a beautiful combo. Well Cookie Crisp is FAR from anything even resembling cookies. When you open the box, you get no wiff of freshly baked goodness, and no taste of rich cookie dough. What you do get is a strong chemical-like smell and a bland taste of something that seems to have gone stale.

It is just beautiful marketing. The name “Cookie Crisp” conveys such a tasty image…but is it a complete lie. Actually, no. It is not a COMPLETE lie, the cereal is very “crisp.” But styrofoam packing peanuts have a nice “crisp” texture, and I am not pouring those into a bowl of milk.

The little cookie shapes of the cereal have little cookie taste.  There really is nothing but a bad tasting crunch that leaves you wondering how can they claim there is any cookie  flavor at all. I tried the cereal dry and drenched in milk and both led to unsatisfactory results. This cereal has so much potential…but after one spoonful, I was immediately disappointed with the taste, and disappointed with myself for falling victim to such an obvious marketing gimmick.

These little cereal pieces may look kind of like chocolate chip cookies … but ignore them. THEY ARE A TRAP!

Even Dozer, the Fed Up dog, was reluctant to eat the stuff (and he eats his own poop). So the box of Cookie Crisp was tossed out and from now on I am sticking to my reliable cerealsdamn good granola, and the crack of breakfast foods: Honey Bunches of Oates….until I get lured in by another creative cereal concoction (those Mini Churros cereal keeps one getting attention and so does that Cinnabon cereal)

So if you insist on having cookies for breakfast, just get some real cookies and crumble them up into your cereal bowl. It will taste a WHOLE lot better and probably will be better for you too. But in reality, none of us should probably be eating cookies, candy, or any type of desert as our morning meal. I am pretty sure my nutritionist would not recommend cookies as a healthy part of a well-balanced and nutritious breakfast.

Have you been cerealously mislead? I can’t be the only one who buys something that looks amazing, but is only rewarded with a sever case of buyer’s remorse.

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Categories: Rants

Author:Mr. Fed Up

A guy looking for good grub. and YES....I have a website...and I am not going to bore you with one of those personal journal type of blogs. I promise. Check it out; www.FedUpFood.com

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40 Comments on “Seriously Sad Cereal”

  1. May 20, 2012 at 2:57 pm #

    Cookie Crisp was a reward when I was a kid. If my parents were to actually buy it and have it in stock, you must have been well behaved recently because they’d buy it for no other reason. Haven’t had it since then, so I may have to pick up a box to see if I like it as much now as my fond memories tell me that I did then.

    • May 20, 2012 at 9:15 pm #

      It really is funny how things we loved as kids no longer taste good.

      I used to go crazy for Kool-Aid…now I could care less for the stuff.

      Honestly, I would say keep the happy memories you have of Cookie Crisp, and avoid having them ruined by buying a box today. The stuff really is bad. PLUS: they got rid of the dog that was “crazy for COOOOKKKIIIIEEE Crisp” and, have replaced him with some dumb wolf now

  2. May 20, 2012 at 3:35 pm #

    I recently bought a box of New York Naturals Kale Chips thinking they might be a tasty alternative to crackers or chips. At $7.99 for a three ounce package, it was a splurge and let me tell you I might as well have taken my eight bucks and set fire to them. Nasty nasty nasty. They’re just kales leaves that have been fried and then coated in some kind of vile white crud that at best resembles rotted cottage cheese and at worst something harvested from a long neglected belly button. They look better than they taste. Cross ’em off your grocery list and stick with carrot sticks is my advice.

    • May 20, 2012 at 9:17 pm #

      HAHA… I am grossed out now. I will definitely NOT be buying Kale Chips anytime soon. Thanks for the warning, those would have been something I might have tired had I seen them earlier.

  3. May 20, 2012 at 5:03 pm #

    My doctor told me I needed to up my fiber intake, so I decided to check out Fiber One cereal – not happy with the taste of the cereal at all. I even tried it with vanilla almond milk and it still did not wow the cereal or me.

    • May 20, 2012 at 9:27 pm #

      Yes! I have tried Fiber One (the original twig type); and I am NOT a fan. I love food that is good for you, but it has to taste at least ok for me to eat it.

      If you need more fiber…try Fiber One other cereal options maybe. I like the 80 Calorie Honey Squares. I mix it in with other cereal and fruit and sometimes eat it with yogurt. It is far from being the tastiest cereal out there ( http://fedupfood.com/2012/02/19/its-crack-for-breakfast/ ), but it is decent and has a graham cracker like taste.

  4. May 20, 2012 at 9:27 pm #

    I used to be allowed to get these when I was a kid too. I haven’t bought them in years though just because I know now how bad of an idea cookies is for breakfast. Even though they don’t taste much like cookies, it was fun to eat as a little kid. Of course it probably doesn’t taste as good now as it used to anyway, but I remember it being pretty good.

    • May 20, 2012 at 9:30 pm #

      It really is sad how the things we used to get so much enjoyment out of as kids, would never be consider “goo eats” now.

      I personally was deprived of this cereal growing up, so I had never tried if before. I really had high expectations.

  5. Carly
    May 22, 2012 at 8:06 am #

    Ugh, I never had these as a kid, so no fond memories to fall back on – and yeah, they’re pretty foul. I thought they would at least make some effort to make them taste like cookies, or even one component of them, but no. Where is the chocolate? They just taste like sugar and artificial.

    • May 23, 2012 at 10:09 am #

      I agree COMPLETELY….How can they claim chocolate cookie taste when there is not even a hint of chocolate flavor???

  6. May 22, 2012 at 1:53 pm #

    I couldn’t agree more with you! For some reason everyone loves this cereal but I always found it stale tasting… i would rather have some reeses puffs 🙂

    p.s i really love your food reviews! keep ’em up

    • May 23, 2012 at 10:12 am #

      Hi Kailey! Thanks for reading, and I am glad you like the reviews! Your site rocks too!

      I definitely would choose Reeses Puffs over these in the future…but if you are looking for the BEST PB flavored cereal, try Peanut Butter Puffins. They are amazing. Not only do they taste great, but they also are a lot healthier then Resses Puffs.

      • May 23, 2012 at 10:19 am #

        couldn’t agree more with you! PB Puffins are my favorite cereal in the whole wide world. If you ever get a chance to go to Whole Foods, they have an “exclusive” arrowhead mills chocolate filled squares cereal & french toast square cereal. Both are a close second to the puffins.

      • May 23, 2012 at 1:42 pm #

        HAha…Kailey…are we related or something!?! I know exactly what Arrowhead mills cereals you are talking about. the French Toast Squares ROCK!

        I have never tried the chocolate filled ones though. I always get pissed when there are “exclusive” products like this, because I often end up making an entire trip to Whole Foods just for these special items.

        Just a few years ago I was still in college (I am only 26) and my grocery shopping revolved around Walmart. But, now since working full-time (and getting a decent paycheck), I find myself spending more and MORE at Whole Foods each week. I am spoiled with the “exclusive” cereals, gourmet cheese, and this stuff: http://fedupfood.com/2012/04/24/it-is-ok-to-eat-the-entire-pint/

  7. May 22, 2012 at 11:01 pm #

    Reminds me of Count Chocula and the like. I think the most exciting thing was that it turned your milk chocolatey; I think I enjoyed that part better than the actual cereal!

    I have a bad(/wonderful?) habit of crumbling up Girl Scounts Thin Mint cookies into a bowl of milk and eating it with a spoon. Heavens to Mergatroid. I don’t think there’s a more delicious dessert in the universe.

  8. May 24, 2012 at 7:56 pm #

    I bought a box as a treat, I used to eat them when I was younger- I’m wondering if they were that awful then? They were putrid! I am tempted to make homemade cookie crisp to appease myself. Hmmmm. That would be a great blog post…. Thanks for the inspiration…!

  9. May 25, 2012 at 10:26 pm #

    Man…I always wanted to try Cookie Crisp. Never got around to it. When did they change the mascot from the two burglars (at least I think that’s what was there before) to the wolf?

    • May 26, 2012 at 1:00 pm #

      Trust me…you are NOT missing out. This cereal is bad.

      I have no idea when the got rid of the burglars…but this new wolf is so generic…he has no character. They managed to make a bad cereal worse by replacing their decent mascot with this nonsense.

  10. August 15, 2012 at 11:13 pm #

    I LOVED Cookie Crisp as a kid, I haven’t had it in years though… oh now I’m scared. It’s sort of like when you re-watch your favorite movie as a kid and realize it’s not that great anymore. Do I want to ruin my memories?!

    • August 16, 2012 at 4:02 pm #

      Hey… I say keep the memories and avoid the cereal. Sorry to disappoint you, I just think you will be saddened by how crummy this stuff tastes now. There are so many better options.

  11. August 15, 2012 at 11:14 pm #

    I LOVED Cookie Crisp as a kid, I haven\’t had it in years though… oh now I\’m scared. It\’s sort of like when you re-watch your favorite movie as a kid and realize it\’s not that great anymore. Do I want to ruin my memories?!

  12. Cookie Monster
    January 10, 2013 at 3:54 pm #

    Don’t know what you prudes are talking about, I’m eating a bowl of cookie crisp right now and they are delicious.

    • January 10, 2013 at 4:47 pm #

      Hey… I fully admit we ALL have our taste preferences. BUT: I think the fact that the cereal is called ‘COOKIE’ Crisp, sets such high expectations for a fresh-baked-cookie taste… and the expectations are are pretty much impossible to be met. So we are left disappointed and frustrated.

  13. john
    February 25, 2013 at 1:19 pm #

    I totally agree with you. However this serial is not Cookie Crisp. the Cookie Crisp that I remember in the eighties when I grew up was awesome, it was like everything you said in your column tasted like cookies floating in milk. the reason it taste the way it does now it’s because all the fat kids in America and how scared everybody is to put sugar in cereal the same thing that happened to McDonald’s go large is the same thing that happened to Cookie Crisp. it went down the crapper and now we have some imposter it isn’t nearly as good

    • February 28, 2013 at 9:37 am #

      Hey John. I agree completely! it is amazing how much foods have changed due to new guidelines and requirements. I am all for making foods healthier, but they need to be called something different from the originals. They should NOT have the same packaging, names, and branding as the sugary original versions.

  14. john
    February 25, 2013 at 1:28 pm #

    I think people are getting the wrong idea about the serial. Every cereal has changed Just like they took away the Burger King go large The same is happening with our cereal. serial makers work under different laws now when I was a kid in the 80’s it didn’t matter how much sugar was in a serial. that is not the case now hence bland Cookie Crisp. same with crunch berry boo berry Count Chocula. these are not the same cereals they once were. in the aforementioned cereals when I was a kid huge marshmallows frosted cereal me and my girlfriend have noticed this now for some time. face it cereal has just changed it’s not the same as it was in the 80’s or even the ninety’s

    • February 28, 2013 at 9:43 am #

      And you have to laugh at how there is the underlying trend for more ‘healthy’ cereals, but at the same time there is also this crazy trend for more elaborate and decadent sounding names for new cereals: Churros. Cinnabon Cereal. Double Chocolate Krave. Peanut Butter French Toast. …marketing.

  15. Mark
    June 21, 2013 at 5:26 pm #

    Absolute spoof if i ever heard it, cookie crisp is the shit, no word of a lie. COOKIE CRISP FOR LIFE

    • July 23, 2013 at 3:36 pm #

      I guess we all have different tastes. But I will stick to avoiding cookie crisp in favor of something like PB French Toast.

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