Can I just get a dang orange?!?…not an orange hybrid, or some genetically modified fruit that changes-colors-in-the-sun or tastes like cotton candy, or is ridiculously tiny or ridiculously massive.

Sure Pluots are tasty, but once the novelty of the fruit wares off, you will realize nothing can substitute for the juicyness of a standard plum…good luck finding one.

I am tired of all the crazy fruits offered. Grocery shopping has become far more laborious having to try to figure out what the damn apple you are putting in your basket is going to actually taste like…

Mad scientist or clever marketers have created whole new species of fruits that are far from natural. Have you seen those expensive “grapples?” They are apples that are supposed to taste like grapes, but they end just tasting kind of nasty. “Pluots” seem to have more shelf space than standard plums or apricots; both of which are far more enjoyable.

I will be the first to admit that many types hybrid of fruits and lab-born produce do have their advantages. This is especially true with kiwis, who have spawned both the awesome kiwi berry (kiwi’s the size of grapes that you eat in one bite), and  the fur-less, yellow-fleshed, ‘Golden Kiwis’ (Zespri) that are sweet and allow you to take a bite without having to peel any skin away. And I love they way modern science has saved us from the dreaded ‘seeded grape.’

“Honey Kiss Hammi Gold”…ok, so it is ‘Crisp and Refreshing,’ but so is watermelon, grapefruit and even cucumbers… half the produce in the world can have this same description…so what does this damn thing actually taste like?

But in general…I am fed up with all the Franken-fruit. I was looking for a simple cantaloupe or honey dew…NOPE, not available. There was only some weird thing that may have been tasty, or easy to eat, or cheaper to produce…but it was not the freaking melon I was searching for. And then, in a half-assed attempt to educated the consumer, there are dumb descriptions of these new items clogging our produce section. I appreciate the attempt at trying to help me figure out what a “Honey Kiss Hammi Gold” melon is going to taste like, but the catchy phrases, and brief descriptions plastered on the packaging is so generic that you still wind up taking your chances when you get home and slice open the thing for the first time…is it tart like a sour apple? sweet like a cherry? crunchy like a watermelon? NOBODY in the stores knows and so you are on your own.

Give me back my boring berries. I don’t care if they succumb to rot quickly or don’t have supernatural characteristics. Give me back ordinary oranges, and bananas even if they are not pumped full of artificial antioxidants. AND it really does not bother me if my apples are just averaged sized…Sure fruit hybrids are something new and fun to check out at first, but once the gimmicky nature of the ‘fake-fruit’ wares off, then you are left searching for what you have always known and loved.

‘Part plum, part apricot, all delicious’…and then you realize all you really are looking for is the simple goodness that has been growing naturally for hundreds and hundreds of years.


Tags: , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Categories: Rants, Unexpected Randomness

Author:Mr. Fed Up

A guy looking for good grub. and YES....I have a website...and I am not going to bore you with one of those personal journal type of blogs. I promise. Check it out;


Subscribe to our RSS feed and social profiles to receive updates.

6 Comments on “Franken-Fruit”

  1. July 30, 2012 at 10:37 pm #

    Hear hear! I prefer nature taking care of any gene modifications


  1. Natural Selection | Fed Up Food - August 22, 2012

    […] it might be the real stuff. Either way, US produce sections are often filled with all sorts of hybrid fruits that are from from what originally grew naturally in the fields.This might be one of the reasons […]

  2. Food Fusion Findings | Fed Up Food - January 6, 2013

    […] various staple products to create something unexpected. The produce aisle is filed wish so much ‘hybrid’ fruit that it is starting to piss me off how difficult it is to find a freaking apple that is JUST an […]

  3. Japan: Land of Food Perfection | Fed Up Food - April 11, 2013

    […] strawberries were an unusual find. BUT I don’t care how delicately packaged these things were, albino strawberries just […]

  4. Messed-Up Multitasking | Fed Up Food - April 23, 2013

    […] seriously question any restaurants serving more than one type of cuisine. This rule also applies to grocery products that attempt to mesh multiple foods into one convenient package. Warning flags need to be raised as […]

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: