Franken-Fruit

Can I just get a dang orange?!?…not an orange hybrid, or some genetically modified fruit that changes-colors-in-the-sun or tastes like cotton candy, or is ridiculously tiny or ridiculously massive.

Sure Pluots are tasty, but once the novelty of the fruit wares off, you will realize nothing can substitute for the juicyness of a standard plum…good luck finding one.

I am tired of all the crazy fruits offered. Grocery shopping has become far more laborious having to try to figure out what the damn apple you are putting in your basket is going to actually taste like…

Mad scientist or clever marketers have created whole new species of fruits that are far from natural. Have you seen those expensive “grapples?” They are apples that are supposed to taste like grapes, but they end just tasting kind of nasty. “Pluots” seem to have more shelf space than standard plums or apricots; both of which are far more enjoyable.

I will be the first to admit that many types hybrid of fruits and lab-born produce do have their advantages. This is especially true with kiwis, who have spawned both the awesome kiwi berry (kiwi’s the size of grapes that you eat in one bite), and  the fur-less, yellow-fleshed, ‘Golden Kiwis’ (Zespri) that are sweet and allow you to take a bite without having to peel any skin away. And I love they way modern science has saved us from the dreaded ‘seeded grape.’

“Honey Kiss Hammi Gold”…ok, so it is ‘Crisp and Refreshing,’ but so is watermelon, grapefruit and even cucumbers… half the produce in the world can have this same description…so what does this damn thing actually taste like?

But in general…I am fed up with all the Franken-fruit. I was looking for a simple cantaloupe or honey dew…NOPE, not available. There was only some weird thing that may have been tasty, or easy to eat, or cheaper to produce…but it was not the freaking melon I was searching for. And then, in a half-assed attempt to educated the consumer, there are dumb descriptions of these new items clogging our produce section. I appreciate the attempt at trying to help me figure out what a “Honey Kiss Hammi Gold” melon is going to taste like, but the catchy phrases, and brief descriptions plastered on the packaging is so generic that you still wind up taking your chances when you get home and slice open the thing for the first time…is it tart like a sour apple? sweet like a cherry? crunchy like a watermelon? NOBODY in the stores knows and so you are on your own.

Give me back my boring berries. I don’t care if they succumb to rot quickly or don’t have supernatural characteristics. Give me back ordinary oranges, and bananas even if they are not pumped full of artificial antioxidants. AND it really does not bother me if my apples are just averaged sized…Sure fruit hybrids are something new and fun to check out at first, but once the gimmicky nature of the ‘fake-fruit’ wares off, then you are left searching for what you have always known and loved.

‘Part plum, part apricot, all delicious’…and then you realize all you really are looking for is the simple goodness that has been growing naturally for hundreds and hundreds of years.

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Categories: Rants, Unexpected Randomness

Author:Mr. Fed Up

A guy looking for good grub. and YES....I have a website...and I am not going to bore you with one of those personal journal type of blogs. I promise. Check it out; www.FedUpFood.com

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6 Comments on “Franken-Fruit”

  1. July 30, 2012 at 10:37 pm #

    Hear hear! I prefer nature taking care of any gene modifications

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