Vote With Your Stomach

Here in the good-ole-USA it is election time. But I am tired of the candidates trying to win my worthy vote with the same speeches focusing on the same ‘hot-topics’ we hear every 4 years…

vote with your stomach…your heart and mind will thank you for it when you get your next tasty meal

I don’t care if you are a conservative Republican, a liberal Democrat, or just some sort of anarchist….If you want to win the election and become President of the USA, then your political message should address what really matters to a typical American…FOOD! Candidates need to stop appealing to people’s hearts and minds and instead they should be speaking to people’s stomachs.

Any presidential hopeful should seriously  take a solid stance on the critical issues that our food-based world is dealing with today. To win votes in this grub-obsessed nation of ours, a presidential campaign should proudly support these propositions:

*No toaster oven left behind; A grant should be created to make sure every household has this essential appliance.

*Taxation for take-out menu pollution; Our environment and our homes need protection from restaurants leaving promotions and menus on our lawns.

*Incentives for cereal to once again include toys; The youth of our nation is growing up deprived of the simple joys received from opening a box of cereal to find a prize inside.

*Campaign for cilantro rights; proper protection should be in place for this humble herb from reckless cashiers.

*Save the spork; This revolutionary utensil may one day go extinct if it is not more widely adopted.

A nation of food

*Initiate a ban on ridiculous flavors; People no longer know what anything really tastes like, and often times trendy ingredients mislead defenseless customers into making poor purchase decisions.

*Proper promotion of pudding; For too long this tasty treat has been banished to the school lunch room and hospital cafeteria. The world needs to realize the possibilities of pudding.

*Subsidized gourmet cheese; This all-powerful food is freaking amazing but high costs for the really special stuff,  prevents many from experiencing such enlightenment.

*Increase our international food relations; Too many foreign foods and creative creations are not yet made available to hungry Americans.

*Education for all via cereal boxes; Those boring boxes we stare at each morning could really make our nation that much more intelligent if valuable knowledge was shared instead of stupid recipes and dumb mazes.

*Regulation for the varieties of salt; Grocery shopping is confusing enough as it is…do we really need to spend valuable time trying to sift through 50 types of salt?

*Mandatory warning labels cautioning certain food’s side-effects; Innocent Americans are being caught off-guard by the dangerous side-effects of foods like beets and garlic.

all political stats should involve food.

So Romney and  Obama…they both need to move on from the boring issues that plague our society and instead reassert their stances on the what really matters to the hungry American voter. They need to forget about getting the public approval from Donald Trump, George Clooney, and the ambassador from some foreign land;  and  instead focus on getting the Alton Browns,  the Bobby Flays, and everyone who appears on the Food Network, in their corner. With their  recommendation, victory is only one bite away.

So when you cast your vote, think about which candidate will satisfy your stomach.


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Categories: Rants, Recommendations

Author:Mr. Fed Up

A guy looking for good grub. and YES....I have a website...and I am not going to bore you with one of those personal journal type of blogs. I promise. Check it out;


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7 Comments on “Vote With Your Stomach”

  1. November 6, 2012 at 6:38 pm #

    Thanks for the laugh today, it is good to have a chuckle while I am trying to figure out if it is time to move to Canada or not.

    • November 7, 2012 at 2:02 pm #

      I am glad you got a good laugh…so are you moving to Canada? I don’t think their food is as good as ours…haha

      • November 8, 2012 at 1:08 am #

        Nope I’m good now, the right person won on Tuesday night. I wouldn’t have actually gone anyway, but it’s fun to talk about.

  2. November 7, 2012 at 11:16 am #

    This should get sent to the opinions section of everyone’s local newspapers.

    • November 7, 2012 at 2:04 pm #

      Thank you! I am serious though…EVERY candidate should insist that cereal boxes included toys! I really miss finding cheap, crappy prizes in my breakfast bowl!

  3. November 10, 2012 at 1:56 pm #

    Hahaha! I like your way of thinking! This would have been so good to see in a paper 🙂

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